the new best is…better
People often refer to better as a thing or a moment in time a step on the path to something else – to best. Best is so final – the end of a long road. Something that feels so impossible to reach, but also as such a boring place to stay, especially after all of that work to finally reach best.
From the moment I was born I have always had a zest for life. The maximum amount of FOMO (fear of missing out), a belief that good will win, and that with enough hard work and determination anything is possible. I have countless stories from my childhood about hard work and determination winning out and proving to me that with a little grit, a lot of humility, and a positive outlook I could bend my life to meet my expectations or at least bend my expectations to meet my life, but I don’t settle.
How does this have anything to do with why I think better is better than best? Better is a state of mind, it’s a way to live, it’s a game changer. When you hear people talk about getting better at something - it comes from a place of deficiency or remediation - implies that where they are now is bad and they need to correct themselves. When someone says they want to become a better person - your first thought is - why are you such a bad person to begin with?
What if we changed our association with better to be about striving for greater greatness instead of making up for something? What if we changed our association of the word that better was the goal all along…it never was best - best was a distraction. Better is standing at the top of the mountain and reaching for the sky, not starting in a hole and trying to climb out.
So when you see the word better - I hope it reminds you to be in a state of growth, and growth for the sake of enlightenment and meaning and not because something is wrong with you. When you see the word best, just think maybe the bar wasn’t high enough. When you are in a better state of mind you can accept feedback as something more, something that could make you touch the sky and not as an insult to who you are - or a deficiency.
What if we stopped focusing on the material rewards, accolades, curated social media stories, marketing campaigns, or what other people tell us to want? What if we focused on clarifying what we want - what’s our sky that we’re reaching for? Then we play the long game - create a life of learning, meaning and growth? What if we stop trying for perfect or for best and instead try for better?
I look in front of me and see burned out and unsure people. I hear from clients that they aren’t good enough, or moving fast enough, making enough money or having a perfect life like those that they see. Upset that they don’t have it all figured out like everyone around them. Well, newsflash - other people are better fakers. Simply put - everyone is trying to figure it out, you’re not alone. You just need the right mindset - a better approach. Afterall, you might find you’re exactly where you need to be enjoying a life of growth and meaning and paying more attention to the journey than the destination – that sounds like a better way to me.
