The enneagram and personal development.
Using the Enneagram system as a tool in your personal development journey can help you better understand why you act and react in certain ways, learn to recognize patterns in yourself and develop a sense of self-compassion. By learning more about your personality type, including your core motivations and fears, you can begin to break away from limiting tendencies and move in the direction of growth. Learn more about the basics of the Enneagram here.
Building self-awareness
One of the Enneagram’s greatest contributions is that it helps us recognize our own patterns. Learning what these are can help you be less critical of yourself when you feel stuck. Instead of believing there is something wrong with you, you can learn to recognize when you are being guided by the tendencies of your type. Not only does this allow space for self-compassion when you get stuck in a loop, it can help motivate you to move forward on your path of growth.
Humans are complex and the complexities of the Enneagram provide a framework for understanding that we are dynamic and no two people or days are alike. From one day (or hour) to the next, you can easily move from healthy to stressed and depending where you sit on that spectrum at any given time, you might act in completely different ways.
The nine types of the Enneagram
We offer a brief overview of the motivations and fears of the nine types but as you explore the Enneagram, you can dive deeper into each type here or join our Bettermeant Circle to learn more.
Type 1: The Reformer
Ones see the world through right and wrong, working diligently to improve both themselves and everyone and everything around them. Ones want balance and integrity while they avoid corruption and defectiveness. They are motivated by being right, raising the bar, improving things and morality.
Type 2: The Helper
Twos want to be liked, try to meet the needs of others and attempt to serve the people and events in their lives. Twos want to belong and to be loved while they avoid things they believe will cause them to be alone or unloved. They are motivated by expressing their feelings for others, being needed and appreciated and helping people they like.
Type 3: The Achiever
Threes organize their lives to achieve specific goals and to appear successful in order to gain the respect and admiration of others. Threes want to feel valuable and worthwhile while they avoid failure. They are motivated by affirmation, admiration, accomplishment and completion.
Type 4: The Individualist
Fours desire deep connections both with their own interior worlds and with other people. They feel most alive when they authentically express their feelings. Fours want to find themselves and to have an authentic identity while they avoid rejection and feeling not good enough. They are motivated by self expression, creativity and uniqueness.
Type 5: The Investigator
Fives thirst for information and knowledge and use emotional detachment as a way of keeping involvement with others to a minimum. Fives want to be capable and competent while they avoid too many demands for their time or energy. They are motivated by knowing something unique, creating something original and mastery.
Type 6: The Loyalist
Sixes have insightful minds, are prone to worry and create worst-case scenarios to help themselves feel prepared in case something goes wrong. Sixes want to have security and support while they avoid being without guidance or validation. They are motivated by feeling supported, certitude, reassurance and quieting their anxiety and insecurity.
Type 7: The Enthusiast
Sevens crave the stimulation of new ideas, people and experiences. They avoid pain and create elaborate future plans that allow them to keep all of their options open. Sevens want to experience it all and to be content while they avoid being deprived and in emotional pain. They are motivated by freedom, happiness and staying busy.
Type 8: The Challenger
Eights pursue the truth, try to keep situations under control, want to make important things happen and try to hide their vulnerability. Eights want to be in control and to protect themselves while they avoid seeming or feeling weak or vulnerable. They are motivated by independence, importance, equity and honesty.
Type 9: The Peacemaker
Nines seek peace, harmony and positive mutual regard. They dislike conflict, tension and ill will. Nines want peace of mind and stability while they avoid loss, separation and conflict. They are motivated by keeping the peace, conflict avoidance and harmony.
Recognizing patterns in yourself
When we see negative or undesirable behaviors or patterns in ourselves, it can be tempting to let them hold us back without questioning them. Once you recognize that these experiences are part of a larger pattern in yourself, the Enneagram can help you examine why that pattern exists. Getting to the motivation and fears that guide you can help get you out of your head and away from the limiting beliefs that are keeping you from success and growth.
Developing awareness of how your core beliefs and fears influence your perspective, your actions and your self-image will allow you to consciously step out of these patterns when they start to take over.
Centers of Intelligence
The Enneagram Centers of Intelligence—or triads—give insight into how you process information and situations: through your head (Thinking Center), your heart (Feeling Center) or your gut (Instinctive Center). The numbers are labeled numerically around the Enneagram circle and each triad is made up of three adjacent numbers. Within each triad, the instincts manifest differently but are driven by the same part of the body.
Thinking Triad: Types Five, Six and Seven
The Thinking triad is driven by the head center, meaning safety, security and competence dominate the instincts. These numbers focus on analysis and information to help process and move through the world. If you fall into the head triad, notice how you navigate different situations. When you are lacking reliability, knowledge or excitement do you become anxious or doubtful? Do you let internal or external fears overcome and guide you? Learning to tap into your heart and gut can help keep you balanced so you do not become paralyzed by analysis or distraction.
Feeling Triad: Types Two, Three and Four
The Feeling triad is concerned with self-image and emotions. These numbers tend to focus outwardly on how they are perceived and what they need to do to receive the attention they seek. If you are in the heart triad, notice how much importance you place on recognition for your self-worth. Do you find a sense of longing or shame when you don’t feel appreciated or noticed for your contributions? Looking inward to the gut and head for self-guidance and approval can help keep the heart types in balance.
Instinctive Triad: Types Eight, Nine and One
The Instinctive triad seeks autonomy and is concerned with survival and independence. These numbers tend to let their intuition guide them in decision-making and often act before considering the effect of their actions. They can see things in black and white and get frustrated when they feel restricted. If you are in the gut triad, try to notice if you feel anger or resentment when you lack control and whether this can cause you to act impulsively. Do you tend to blame yourself when you have negative thoughts instead of looking deeper at what may be causing them? Gut types are well served when they slow down and pause before acting. Using the head and heart to try to see all sides of the situation can help them feel more balanced.
Moving in the direction of growth
Levels of Development
The Enneagram is dynamic and despite its emphasis on a primary type, does not suppose that people are the same day-to-day or the same as others of their type. Our personalities exist on a continuum of actions, attitudes and responses called the Levels of Development. These levels explain how we move and change within our types from healthy traits, to average traits, to unhealthy traits—and back again.
There are three healthy, average and unhealthy levels for each type. As you move back and forth day-to-day, significant changes in your personality can be observed. When at your best, you are present and aware and can see yourself objectively without getting lost in the nuances of your personality. The lower in the levels you become, the more destructive your behavior and thoughts can be. Paying attention to where you are on the continuum can provide an early warning before you start acting on your negative beliefs.
Direction of Integration and Disintegration
When you are the healthiest version of yourself, you take on the best qualities of your “growth type” (integration) and when you are unhealthy, you take on the worst qualities of your “stress type” (disintegration). This differs from the Levels of Development, which tend to be longer term, whereas this shift can be sudden and is often referred to as “acting out” for that reason. The direction of growth and stress is illustrated on the Enneagram symbol by the lines that connect inside the circle and is noted below.
Direction of Integration (growth)
9 > 3 > 6 > 9
1 > 7 > 5 > 8 > 2 > 4 > 1
Direction of Disintegration (stress)
9 > 6 > 3 > 9
1 > 4 > 2 > 8 > 5 > 7 > 1
Moving in the direction of integration should guide you toward what truly fulfills you and helps you realize the full potential of your primary type. The direction of disintegration usually manifests when you are stressed or in a period of uncertainty and can help you recognize when you need to take better care of yourself.
Improving your relationships
Many of us are familiar with the five love languages that were coined by Gary Chapman, which describe how each of us expresses and receives love in different ways. The Enneagram is rooted in the same idea, but it goes far beyond just romantic love into how we perceive and respond to interactions with everyone in our lives. Each type views the world in a different way and the Enneagram gives us a language to find common ground.
By learning about your own type and the types of those around you, you can open yourself up to new perspectives instead of expecting others to share yours. Learning to practice empathy and understanding for the different ways to view the world can help in your romantic relationships, as parents, at work and in your social life. The Enneagram is useful for conflict resolution and improving basic interactions that can otherwise be filled with tension or misunderstandings. learn more about this from our relationship expert, jan.
Continue your Enneagram journey
You are worth digging into. It can be difficult for many people to look inside and really get to know themselves, but the Enneagram offers a framework that can help walk you through your behaviors, motivations, fears and desires. Once you start to see the patterns in yourself, and also begin to recognize them in your relationships, we think you’ll find that self-discovery isn’t as scary as it can seem.
Bettermeant coaches help you dive deeper into the layers of the Enneagram and how they affect your life and relationships. Your type and where you are in your level of development influences whether you prioritize your self-preservation, sexual or social instincts. Your dominant wing type can complement or contradict your primary type and influence your behaviors and reactions in surprising ways. We can help you explore the patterns and beliefs that may be holding you back—or pushing you forward.
Book a personal development session with one of our coaches or join our club to start using this newfound knowledge on your path to personal growth.
Look out for Bettermeant’s upcoming post on using the Enneagram to improve your leadership skills and team dynamics or check out our previous post on Understanding the Enneagram.
